Signs of a Toxic Relationship

Relationships can be a fulfilling part of your life when it’s the right one for you. Just because your relationship is all fine and dandy in the beginning, it does not mean that things will stay that way forever. Some relationships blossom into really healthy ones for both partners, with mutual benefits in all aspects. But some will take a turn for the worse and make you feel drained.

Of course, no relationship is perfect and bumps along the way is normal. How do you distinguish between normal relationship speed bumps that every couple goes through, and relationships that you absolutely must run away from? Here are some signs you need to look out for to identify whether your relationship is toxic.

1. Bad Vibes

One sure sign of a toxic relationship should be an intuitive one. You might brush it off as irrational at first, but if deep down you can feel all the negative energy, that could be your instinct telling you something. Seeing as this is something intangible, how do you tell that it’s all bad vibes besides your gut feeling?

Being passive-aggressive is an example of how one would exude negative energy. If you feel that you are both constantly dragging each other down, that's another case of bad vibes. When you only bring out the worst in each other, that's a red flag saying you shouldn't be together.

2. Possessive Behaviour

People who grow up with a storybook, traditional idea of love and relationships may find it normal to have partners who are overprotective. You might even call it romantic. There is, however, a fine line between being protective and downright possessive — and the latter is not healthy for a relationship.

Early signs of possessive behaviour could start with jealousy and go all the way to making threats due to lack of trust. Being a little bit jealous sometimes is not unusual in a relationship but extreme jealousy signals to a deep understanding of insecurity. In the long-term, it could make you feel trapped and in some cases escalate to violence. Reevaluate your relationship if you feel that this is something you’re experiencing with your current partner.

3. Lack of Mutual Respect

Similar to any partnerships, your romantic relationship should have an equal amount of respect between each other. Respect is a huge spectrum. On the surface, it might look like your partner respects you, but pay attention to the details. Has your partner ever dismissed your opinions or in subtle ways make themselves out to be the superior one in the relationship? Made fun of your facial or body hair? (Which by the way can be easily solved with a subscription to our Shave Plan.)

If it happens often, it's quite clear that they think you have a lower value than them and that's just not cool. A lot of people do argue that having different career status may change the dynamics of a relationship — that one person is valued higher in a relationship because of their professional worth. However, keep in mind that a healthy relationship should give and receive equal respect regardless of perceived ‘worth’.

4. Extreme Selfishness

Selfishness can be an undesirable quality to have in a partner. A sign of this bad character trait is that they only do things that will benefit them or their situation. It can be as simple as deciding on what to do on dates to something more life-changing such as a house-buying decision. The former might sound harmless but when it happens too often, you should recognise that it’s a character trait you shouldn’t ignore.

Having a potential soulmate who only wants things done their way can ruin a relationship fast. Partners should respect each other by learning to compromise. A relationship is a two-way street — if only one party benefits from it, it will lead to unhappiness and in the long-run, you might hold grudges because of it.

5. Your Friends Don’t Approve

With your partner, you might not notice all the red flags. This is why you will need your friends to tell you what they see in your relationship and if they notice anything that isn’t right. If it comes off like they are being unsupportive of your relationship, just keep in mind that they have your best interests at heart.

Get Out From Your Toxic Relationship

Does your current relationship check all the boxes above? You might need to rethink it then. Difficult decisions may need to be made but in the end, think about how more positive your life can be with the absence of toxic people.